persembahan dari hati

i had fight wif mom.never talk to each other today. when i arrived from group discussion. she wasnt at home. neither my dad.i felt asleep til 6pm. and realized my mom and dad went to Bagan Lalang for sesi pujuk mak by dad. tu pun i tau bile i call abah. coz abah knew already if this fight berterusan. mcm2 akan jadi tau. ye la sape lagi nak entertain mak kalo bukan anak pompan dia yg tercinta kan? i tatau nak wat ape. ade sket salah i actually. but i pk gak bukan 100% salah i coz im already 22. and i deserved a self respect from other people especially from my own family member. yeah im stil the youngest and most people will told me 'im stil the baby in my family tree' but hell no. in certain part of life, i need sum space and respect from everybody. TQ

burning inside part two

when we were expecting everything gonna be ok but it suddenly turn to be not ok.

when we were expecting a person will wait for us til suddenly the person not there.

make me angry. at him and myself also. i hate being perfect but i do try my best.

and when i knew he didnt even realized im doing my best, im soOoOo dissapointed.

the worse gath ever!

hey blog
arini i p midvalley. ade such a mini gath bebudak cenel uitm dalnet. so i decided to participate since eerin and pert ajak beriye iye. i thought its gonna be fine until the deffuser came and join us. fine if between him and me ade history yg tak berapa bagus. we're no talking to each other since that incident happen. fine wif me then. and i thought by the time goes by, bende tu akan dilupakan gitu saja and he and me will be cool aite?

rupenye i je sorang pk cmtu. i mean pk cm ok la bende dah lepas, lepas je. skang kite borak cm bese la. dari mula dia dtg wif myvi and joop dia tak tego i. fine. dia borak pun tak pnah borak ngan i. fine. until one moment when i try to talk to him kat cosmic bowl, dia berpaling muka dari i yg sedang berkata kata. what the fuck la kan? who he think he is? dia ingat aku ni sampah ke ape? siot nye laki. my mood suddenly turn off. and mase tu jugak rase nak balik je. sbb rase nak nanges bile dia wat cmtu. tp i sabar lagi. pas men bowling p plak mapley luar midvalley.kat sana pun dia buat bodo je ngan naz. am i the one yg sensitive or what. dia tak de tny i ke, nak ckp ngan i ke, pandang ke. tetibe i rase cm org paling bodo dlm muka bumi ni p gath ni. i should follow my heart. bile hati dah rase ragu2, i patot tak pegi je. tapi bese la degil.

tujuan i post ni pun bukan apa. konon2 mintak2 la dia bace kan even i know la dia takkan bace. bia dia tau i REALLY REALLY REALLY PISSED OFF sama dia. i want him to know bout this. thanks.

best regards,
YOUR EX SO CALLED BABY

im not ready

assalamualaikum
dikala i post this blog i baru je balik dr umah makcik i. i mean the closest aunty. i call her as ucu. she is my father's sister. one of my father's sister actually. tp ni la yg paling rapat. kalo rase saket ati ke kat umah, lapa ke, gaduh ngan abg nak tgk tv ke, mesti akan p umah ucu. bese la sana yg ade sepupu i nama boy. pastu tv tade rebut2. boy mesti ngalah nye ngan kakak sedara dia nih. and sebot pasal makan. mesti bes. even kadang2 lauk pauk simple je. tp mesti dpt makan nye. siap tapau lagi balik umah. every malam raya umah tu juga i melepak. sbb anak anak tiri ucu sume ade sana ( ucu kawen ngan his husband yg mmg dah ade anak) well mmg meriah la duk sana. i ade ramai anak saudara la kalo di ikotkan. pak usu naz? mmg bes. mmg sporting. kalo ngan anak2, cucu2, atau anak2 sedara nye ( i la tu) mmg sporting. kire tade la kene bebel ke, kene ceramah free ke. mmg bes la.

pak usu masuk hospital last 3 weeks. doktor kata usus pak usu pecah. the second day pak usu masuk ward, i went to the hospital. suprisingly, pak usu had been admitted in the icu room. i ter pk 'hey serious sgt ke pak usu saket?' well i knew the answer rite now. lepas beberapa hari kat wad icu, doktor kata he will be fine. ubat tidur yg diberi dah habis. but sadly, pak usu tak juga sedar. bile lawat pak usua, i tak pnah lupa ckp pada pak usu yg i dtg tgk dia. after 20 days dlm wad icu and di bawa pula ke wad isolasi kerana takot kuman yg ade pada pak usu menjangkit pada org lain, pak usu pergi tinggalkan kami semua pada ptg khamis 15 Feb 2007. mase tu i dlm kelas. i tatau nak act mcm mana. i tros pegi umah ucu. well i saw my late uncle for the very last time. i tried not to cry. but it didint work. i cried. im not ready for losing him. sebelum maghrib juga arwah pak usu selamat dikebumikan. org kata kalu kite meninggal malam jumaat, tiada seksa kubur. tade serangga dtg gigit pak usu. alhamdulillah kan?

i tak lupe sedekahkan al fatihah, surah yassin tiap kali i teringat kat arwah pak usu. i miss him actually. when im at his home, masih terasa dia ada sekeliling tu. apa yg i regret, pak usu dah bukak mata sebelum dia hembuskan nafas yg terakhir. but no respon bile dipanggil. maybe dia nak tgk anak anak dia, cucu cucu dia, sedara mara dia and paling penting isteri dia. i terpk juge. macam mana la raya i lepas ni. umah sape plak i nak p? stil sama ke condition ni lepas arwah pak usu takde? i did asked one of his grandson, ingat tak muka Aki?(aki = atuk) shidi kata dia tak ingat.agak nye sbb since pak usu dlm wad icu, kanak2 tak leh masuk tgk. bile nak kebumikan pun, shidi tak sempat jumpe. shidi kat skola. tade sape ade masa nak p amik dia. but arini bile i tny balik, shidi kata dia mimpi Aki.Aki suh dia blaja rajin2. and i did asked once again. and shidi kata dia dah ingat muka Aki.

walau dimana saja roh pak usu sekarang, ella harap pak usu ditempatkan di kalangan org2 yang beriman. amin.ella redha dgn takdir Allah swt. Al-Fatihah.

aku pasrah

looking at the tittle its true. pasrah je dgn suratan ni. well this is my 2nd group assignment which needs us to present. i buat on my own and give sum credit to other group members. yey. bagus nye saye. so tonite i heret satu member dr group lain bantu i wat assignment tu. hehehe abes tu nak harap yg lain tu byk sgt aktiviti and syarat2 nak dikenakan.
well actually im glad went out with him. hehehe and im glad dia offer diri nak tlg i.LOL ade niat tersembunyi actually. smalam lak went out wif him, jeri and azra. jalan2, tgk wayang, makan2. kinda have cool moment. sonok gak lepak ngan diorang. of course pasnih akan kuar bersama lagik. hehehe. berbalik pada si dia. td mase anta dia kat umah sewa, dia bg i sumthing. memule i kata tanak. tetibe dia kuar kete dgn membawa henpon i skali. of course la i wont leave the house without my henpon. hehe. so i decided to wait and see. pastu i balik la. sumtime kan i rase cm nak ckp yg i admire kat dia. but hey its too early kan? lgpun i sekelas. tak lari ke mana pun.hehe jgn ade org tekel dia sudey. but hey btw agak2 dia tau tak i ske dia? hmm. cmne nak bagi hint?

tears of my heart

aaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa tensionnnn.
my inner prob kembali lagi. this damn period. tertekan tol. i tried not to think bout it. but i cant.
uncomfortable in classes. rase mcm penat2 satu badan. sengal2, cepat letih
tambah2 group presentation i sorang2 wat. yg lain sume buat tatau. tak membantu AT ALL!
jgn kata menaip ke, bg key point pun tade. everything on me. asked them to send it to Dr Aniza also tak bole. i jugak kene wat. dah la perut ni saket mcm org beranak (agak je) i yg kene bersusah payah buat sume. wah kalo cmni la gaya nye, Dr, pls do give me extra credits ok?
huwaaa. rase nak nanges je. dugaan eh? im too tired for all this. and akhirnye akan nanges juge.